Kirby In Ponderland
by gracestarkes
Summary: A funny Alice in Wonderland spoof, where Kirby ends up in a strange world called Ponderland where he finds that the inhabitants look just like his friends back home. Will he ever find The White Wabbit or be squashed by The King Of The Hearts?
1. From Dreamland To Ponderland

Cast-

Kirby as Himself

Bandana Waddle Dee as The White Wabbit

Pon & Con as Tweedlepon & Tweedlecon

Meta Knight as The Meta Cat

Broom Hatter as The Fad Hatter

Marx as The Marx Hare

Waddle Dees as Card Dees

King Dedede as The King Of The Hearts

It was a lovely day in Dreamland, not a cloud in the sky and butterflies were flying everywhere. Kirby had been eating a sack load of his favorite food, tomatoes, underneath a big tree. He began to look up to the sky and admire the beautiful and relaxing day, so relaxing that he began to feel tired.

Suddenly, a strange sight was to be seen, a rabbit that had a uncanny resemblance to Bandana Waddle Dee, ran past Kirby shouting, "Oh my stars, I'm tardy! The King is really going to have it with me now!" it said in a country accent, just like Bandana Waddle Dee. "Wait! White Rabbit, or rather Wabbit! Where are you going?" Kirby shouted, curious as always. But the Wabbit didn't answer.

Kirby ran across the meadow after the Wabbit. Kirby saw him hop on a mysterious looking warp star which sent him into an equally mysterious hole. Kirby, being so headstrong, jumped down into the hole, pursuing the Wabbit. It was a strange checkerboard-styled vortex that hurt poor Kirby's eyes. He swirled around the hole for a long time until he finally reached the bottom.


	2. The Twins

A door magically appeared next to Kirby. "The White Wabbit must have when this way!" he alliterated. He opened the door to see a fantastical and beautiful world. The flora was brightly colored with colors such as pink and cyan;and the sky was greenish-blue. The trees were oddly twisted and there were some exotic plants Kirby had never seen in Dreamland before. He marveled at the land's odd beauty; He almost forgot what he had been chasing after.

Just then two big creatures came forward out of the bushes. They resembled Pon & Con, fellows Kirby knew very well, but wore identical school clothes. "We are Tweedlepon and Tweedlecon, what are you doing here in Ponderland?" they asked. "I'm looking for a White Wabbit, have you seen him?" Kirby asked politely. They began to say things in riddles that made little to no sense to Kirby. "In the start of the hour, divided by nine times three, the little rodent comes at high level, then retreats to grass tree." Tweedlepon jabbered. "The king who carols, with a spontaneous chime, demands such carriages to arrive, on time." Tweedlecon added. They continued to give riddles and didn't notice Kirby was leaving after they were no longer any help to him.


	3. The Cat

Kirby continued to walk through the forest in this strange land, still looking for that Wabbit. He reached a path that split into two paths. "Where could he have gone?" Kirby said to himself. Suddenly, two yellow eyes appeared in the shadows. "Hiya stwanger" the voice said in a calm, mysterious, slightly spanish voice. Kirby looked closer and it revealed itself to be a dark blue cat resembling Meta Knight but had pointy cat ears and purple stripes. It had a dark cape, which he wrapped around himself. "Meta Knight, is that you?" Kirby asked him, knowing his appearance from anywhere. "No, you guessed wong, I'm The Meta Cat the hilawious twickster," He answered sounding more mysterious and slightly crazy, "Awe you wooking fow a white wabbit?" Kirby nodded as in he was correct. "I saw white wabbit go to Mad Gwove, where the maddest of the mad come for t-t-tea!" he continued, starting to stutter a little bit, "and I shouwd know, because I am one of them! HAHAHAHA!" he began to calmly laugh, really creeping Kirby out, this was definitely not the same Meta Knight, he would never laugh this hard. "As bad as that sounds, one get use to it awound here. You'ww see, one moment we wiww be good fwiends the next, bittew enemies. I wouwdn't fuwwy twust peopwe awound here if I were you, which I am not." The mysterious cat then vanished back into the shadows, putting off more creepy vibes. Kirby headed to where the cat told him to go, Mad Grove.


	4. The Fad Tea Party

When Kirby arrived at Mad Grove, there was a big table set on the grass in the middle of the woods. He could see two peculiar fellows setting up a tea party. One looked like Marx but with rabbit ears instead of a jester hat, the other look like Broom Hatter except with a large top hat. "Marx Hare!" the hatter yelled, "what did I tell you about where you place the cups!" "Oopsies, It is so confusing what is in and what is out, Fad Hatter" the hare replied, sounding crazed. "Well I have no qualms on anything obsolete, whatever that means!" the hatter said, pulling out a broom. She began to sweep all the bad cups off the table, not surprising the Marx Hare at all.

Kirby sat himself down at an un-taken seat, hopefully to get some answers from the seemingly friendly friends. The Hare and Hatter quickly noticed him as he pulled the chair out and they began to run to him across the table. "Have you come for some tea?" The Marx Hare asked. Kirby thought they would be disappointed if he said no, so he nodded. "We have a guest, and you know what that means?" The Hare asked the Hatter. "They have really poor taste which I can't handle?" The Fad Hatter guessed. "No, it means we can finally serve that big bonanza cake we have been saving, you know...the one with the surprise?" Marx said, hinting something. "Oh that cake! Thank goodness cakes like those are still in otherwise, I would have throw it away a long time ago!" The Hatter replied. Kirby was about to ask about the White Wabbit but he quickly got distracted by the mention of a cake. "Oh boy! I am kind of hungry!" he said to himself.

The Fad Hatter and The Marx Hare brought out a big pink birthday cake, one that looked mouth-wateringly delicious to Kirby. "Go on, take a bite! We insist!" The Hare giggled, trying to keep a straight face. Kirby inhaled that cake like a vacuum. He felt satisfied for a second, then he felt the cake explode inside of him! This caused him to spit out vanilla cream all over the table. The Hare and The Hatter burst into laughter, then The Hatter looked at the mess he made. "Oh wait, I'm going to have to clean that up" she sighed. She took out her broom and began to sweep the table covered in Kirby's barf. "Oh ho ho! That is classic!" The Hare laughed. Poor Kirby had both a tummy-ache and a realization that he had been pranked.

Regardless of what these two had done, Kirby still needed help on his quest to follow The White Wabbit. "Have any of you seen a White Wabbit?" Kirby asked. "Is that a trend?" The Fad Hatter wondered, still sweeping. "Not sure, but I guess it went white past you!" The Marx Hare joked. The Fad Hatter walked to Kirby, looked him straight in the face, and pleaded, "Please tell me this is not a trend!" Kirby, who didn't know what a trend is, was nervous how to answer her. "Ahh, he's right! White Wabbits are so last year!" The Fad Hatter concluded, "you know what is in this year though? Black Bunnies!" "Well, I'm still looking for a White Wabbit, can you help me?" Kirby asked. The Fad Hatter began to turn bright red. "Oh no, you gonna get it!" The Marx Hare warned, retreating into a teapot he somehow fit into despite it's small size. "GET OUT OF MY HOME YOU OUTDATED, TASTELESS, AIRHEAD!" She yelled, raising her broom up. She swatted Kirby out of the Grove with her broom. Kirby landed on his face, far from the tea party. "That Fad Hatter has quite an arm" Kirby said to himself as he got up. Looks like he would have to find The White Wabbit on his own since no one was going to help him.


	5. The King

Little Kirby was lost and could find no trace of The White Wabbit. He was starting to worry if he could ever find his way back to Dreamland after his little quest was over. Using wishful thinking, he walked down a red path that stretched to a strange part of the forest. He soon found himself in a big garden with a large castle in the background that had hearts in it's design. "Royalty! Maybe they can help me!" Kirby said to himself. He walked to the heart shaped gate hoping someone could let him in. Just then, by his luck, The White Wabbit appeared next to him and open the gate using a key he had. "Mr. Wabbit!" Kirby yelled. But he still didn't notice Kirby and ran to the castle in a hurry. Kirby followed behind him, seeing what he was up to this whole time.

The castle was impressive, the halls were decorated with heart-shaped emblems, and the floor was pattered with more hearts. The royalty here must have some strange obsession with hearts, Kirby thought as he followed The White Wabbit. All around there were Waddle Dees who were paper thin like cards and had a certain amount of hearts on them; They stared at Kirby as he ran across the halls. Finally, The White Wabbit went to the throne room, where a big king sat, looking bored. He resembled King Dedede but had hearts designed on his robe, His crown had spikes that resembled little hearts, and instead of a peace sign on the back of his robe, there was red heart. The White Wabbit bowed down and said, "I'm here your majesty, please don't cut off my salary!" The king noticed Kirby looking up at him, and forgotten the Wabbit's plead.

"Who...is...dis?" The great king articulated in a southern Louisiana accent, pointing at Kirby. "I could ask you the same question" Kirby said. The big king got up, starting to get worked up. "Who am I, you ask? WHO AM I, YOU ASK?" he hollered. Kirby thought he was going to get hit but instead the king snapped his fingers. A small band of Card Dees, including the White Wabbit, grabbed some instruments and got on a platform. They began to play a big band tune which the king grabbed a microphone and began to sing...

"I am De King Of De Hearts,

De King Of De Hearts!

And you thought you were so smart

Baby, I'm De King Of De Hearts!"

The king jumped up on a high platform to sing the second verse.

"You see baby, I'm so good

I deserve a sequel

If mah looks don't charm you

My special technique will!"

Then, he jumped on a higher platform where a bunch of lady Card Dees were doing a kick line.

"So don't ya yet depart!

Cause I'm De King Of De Hearts"

"Yes he is!" The ladies chorused.

"I'm De King Of De Hearts"

"That's his biz!"

"I'm De King Of De Heearrtttsss! Yea!"

Once the musical number ended, The King waited for an applause, but it was just a confused silence from Kirby. The King began to throw a tantrum. "ARE YOU KIDDING ME! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO GET DIS ALL ARRANGED!" He screamed. Kirby quickly clapped as did all the Card Dees. "Now DAT sounds more like it!" The King chuckled, "Take five ladies" he said to the latter. He hopped back to his throne as the band and the ladies exited. "So whut chu doin' in mah castle puffball?" he demanded to know. "My name is Kirby and actually I need to get back home" Kirby explained. The king began to laugh, confusing Kirby. "Aww, well don't you worry baby," The King said, turning from happy to serious, "You wanna go back, you are going to have to defeat me...in a game of mini golf!" Kirby was a little confused but nonetheless accepted the challenge. "To the gardens then!" The King bellowed.


	6. The Game

In the gardens, Kirby saw they had a weird way of playing mini golf. The balls were live Gordos, the clubs were spears borrowed from Spear Card Dees, and instead of having the ball land in a hole, they had to hit the ball into a Kabu's mouth. When Kirby asked why, the king simply responded, "We had a budget issue." The King went first, playing a little unfairly by have the Gordo go into the Kabu's mouth even if he was way off. However, once the Gordo accidentally missed the goal, causing the king to flip his crown. "OFF WITH HIS SALARY!" He yelled. "It was originally 'off with his head' but since none of us necks, he changed it to where we just lose our money we get working here" a Card Dee explained to Kirby.

"Alright Pinky, yo' shot now!" The King said to Kirby. He stepped up to the course and whacked the Gordo with his might. But the Kabu closed his mouth so the Gordo bounced right off. "Aww man, unlucky shot!" The King taunted. Kirby tried again but the Gordo flew way off the course. "Is dat de best ya' got?!" The King laughed along with the Card Dees. Suddenly, Kirby saw The Meta Cat appear in the distance. "How about a nice game of vowwey baww?" he said mischievously. "Oh no!" Kirby exclaimed. "Aw come on, can't a dawk widdow cat have a widdow fun? Wike I said, one moment good fwiends the next bittew enemies" he said innocently with his eyes turning blue. Kirby hit the Gordo away from The Meta Cat, but he magically appeared to where the Gordo was flying and used his twisted sword to hit it right back to Kirby. Kirby ducked, so the Gordo bounced off the ground and hit The King in the face. Satisfied, The Meta Cat disappeared using his cape. The Card Dees were all laughing but The King turned red as a beet.


	7. The Chase

"You! Puffy! You did dis!" The King fumed. "What? No! it was the..." Kirby tried to explain. "Don't try to blame on someone else; Nobody embarrasses De Great King Of De Hearts dat gets paid fairly!" he continued to rant, "Off with his salary!" "But sir, he doesn't work here" The White Wabbit explained. "Oh...den, off with his head!" The King corrected himself. "Sir, he doesn't have a neck like the rest of us" The Wabbit explained again. The King started to get annoyed, "Ok, you know whut, just get mah mallet! I'll smash dis puffball till he is flat as a flapjack!" Two Card Dees brought his mallet which looked like the real one King Dedede had but with a heart emblem. The King started running after Kirby. Luckily, Kirby was quick to run to the gardens.

Kirby could hear the sound of The King and his minions chasing after him. He ran to a part of the garden that mysteriously turned back into the forest. The Meta Cat hopped down from a tree saying, "Hiya stwanger, what's your name?" Kirby didn't have time to chat and kept running through the forest. Instantly, the forest transformed into Mad Grove where The Marx Hare and The Fad Hatter were baking another cake, "Hey you there! You want another surprise cake?" The Hare asked. "NO!" Kirby retorted, running away. Back in the forest, Tweedlepon & Tweedlecon jumped out of the bushes, saying another nonsensical riddle. "Why does the pink monkey only sing two times a day?" they asked. Kirby jumped right over them. Suddenly, the whole world around him began to swirl. Everyone he met on his crazy journey was chasing him. The world began to spin faster and faster, then he heard very faint voices that weren't from those who were chasing him.


	8. The Awakening

"Kirby! Kirby! You've been sleeping for quite a while!" Kirby opened his eyes to see Bandana Waddle Dee, King Dedede, and Meta Knight looking at him. He was back under the big tree in Dreamland with an empty sack of tomatoes next to him. "Oh my stars, was I asleep?" Kirby asked. "Yeah, you must have eaten too many tomatoes, you kept mumbling in your sleep; and tossed and turned once in a while." Meta Knight concurred. "Guys, I had the strangest dream. You were there, and You, and You too" Kirby explained, pointing to everyone. "Let me guess, did it involve ya goin' to some country wid one syllable and findin' de magical wizard?" King Dedede asked sarcastically. "No, it was a lot more stranger than that..." Kirby said. "Tell us all about it!" Waddle Dee pressed. "Sure, it all started..." Kirby began. "Kirby! Dis better not have been mah leftova tomatoes!" Dedede interrupted, picking up the empty tomatoes sack. "Uhhhh..." Kirby mumbled nervously. "Why chu little! I'll smash ya till ya flat as a flapjack!" Dedede yelled, pulling out his mallet. He started to chase Kirby with his mallet while Waddle Dee and Meta Knight laughed at this.


End file.
